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Finding the right person with whom you can share your life has never been an easy process. While connecting to individuals has become a bit more convenient thanks to online dating platforms and social media, dating is still a fairly complex process. One common myth is that there is a perfect person out there for everyone and that finding the person will lead to a fairytale ending of living happily ever after. In contrast, relationships require work and compromise from both partners and ultimately, the most important thing one can do when dating is to be authentic and open to the possibility of building a meaningful connection with someone who shares the same values and interests.

Don’t…dismiss someone after just one date! Instead of jumping to a conclusion, consider that the other person may have been extremely nervous or just having a bad day. Unless it is obvious things won’t work out, have a second date to really get a feel for that other person. Many successful marriages all started on a bad first date! Who knows, you could be one of them too, one day. Do…be adventurous! When it comes to planning a date, think outside the box and book an activity you haven’t done before. Need inspiration? Subscribe to the @made_my_date mailing list and let your inbox be filled with fun dating ideas.

Many of us have this idea that we need a movie-worthy meet-cute when finding a soulmate. But closing yourself off to any meeting that isn’t locking eyes across a crowded bar or running into a long-forgotten high school sweetheart from back home (Hallmark Channel style) limits your chances. Despite what Hollywood has us believe, we can meet worthwhile people anywhere. You could meet your ideal partner during a meeting, at a book club, in an elevator, while out walking your dog, or yes, on a dating app. The more options you keep open, the higher your chances of meeting people that you’ll enjoy being around. Instead of waiting for a “meet-cute,” try to remain open to any possibility that feels right for you.

First of all, besides the satisfaction you get from socializing with another human being, there’re a lot of things you can know from interacting with people in person that you can’t get through dating apps. Besides, most dating profiles are not accurate representations of people. The convenience of simply swiping on dating apps can make you neglect opportunities to interact with potential romantic partners around you. And this will make you miss out on great opportunities. It’s okay to show a woman that you care about her. But most guys go too far trying to make a woman accept them. Their need for approval stems from a place of insecurity. A man’s need for acceptance might make him lie or omit details about himself that he thinks the girl may not like.

Most guys believe they have to be tough all the time. Men are taught very early on to not show too much emotion. And for this reason, most men learn to not show any form of vulnerability around women. But the truth is that vulnerability can make a woman feel more connected to you. Think about it. Showing a woman that you can be vulnerable around her tells her that she’s special to you. It means you trust her, and she can trust you to be transparent with her anytime. For instance, some men will still like to show dominance even when they are at fault. But a man who willingly opens up and simply admits his wrongs, though is vulnerable at that moment, will only melt his woman’s heart with his honesty and emotional maturity.

Set healthy boundaries – even before you meet: It’s natural to flirt via messages and conversations in the beginning stages of dating. You’re pursuing a romantic connection, after all! However, if your date is crossing boundaries and making you feel uncomfortable, politely let them know immediately. For example, if they make an advance that feels like too much too soon, express your feelings: “That makes me feel uncomfortable, could we take a step back from that please?”

FYI: Being alone is a good thing. A single relationship status or even just time spent on our own allows us to turn inward, explore our truest desires, and get to know ourselves better. When we know ourselves and what we want, our dating lives become more fulfilling, successful, and fun. Any amount of time alone can be invested to understand what we want out of a partner, but more importantly, it can make us feel so whole we don’t need a partner. Let me go on a quick tangent about a few outdated dating rules that we really should ditch, like, yesterday. To start, my least favorites of all dating rules are “Don’t kiss on the first date” and the “Three-date rule.” Let’s just throw out any rules that imply that what you want to do with your body and when you want to do it are not up to you. Make your own rules based on comfortability and what you’re feeling.

Ditch the loser who doesn’t make you happy. Newsflash: If the person you’re with constantly disappoints you, consistently can’t meet your needs, or refuses to commit to you, it’s time to cut them loose. Hanging on to someone who isn’t making you happy because you’re hoping they’ll suddenly change is going to waste a lot of your precious time — time you could spend meeting and getting to know someone who is a good fit for you. You’ll never meet “the one” if you’re hung up on the wrong one. So, as they say — out with the old and in with the new. Breaking up is hard to do, but trust me on this one: the only regret you’ll have when looking back is that you didn’t split sooner.

As you focus on self-development in the new year, strive to be the partner you’re looking for. That way, you not only have a greater chance of attracting someone with those same qualities, but you’ll also have a stronger sense of self-sufficiency that will serve you while you’re single. It’s common to think a lot about what you want in a partner. But have you ever thought about what kind of partner you want to be? If you have a laundry list of dating must-haves, take a moment to think about whether or not you check those boxes as well.